How long have you been friends? How did you meet? Is friendship even the right word to describe our relationship? Warrior moms, supporting our boys – mine, Sal, and hers, Tommy - as they battled the relentless beast we call pediatric cancer. 

Side by side, watching them grow into men before our eyes, facing monsters we had never known existed. Practically strangers yet sharing hushed conversations in hospital breezeways. Words we hadn’t said out loud and couldn’t yet speak to even our closest family. “The doctor just told me there is nothing else they can do.”  A quick cup of coffee while sharing that, “I was just offered palliative care.” Driving in the car and getting a call, “I have to decide if I should allow him to be put on a vent.” 

I know we often hear God brought you together, but the pain and horror of these memories doesn’t always allow for thoughts of God or silver linings. We knew very little about what friends know about each other or memories of good days. Yet we have intimacies like praying at our child’s bedside, maybe one of their last visitors on this earth. There is for sure something holy and supernatural about this relationship. A safe landing place for someone who “can imagine” what I’m going through. 

I’m forever grateful for Shelly and her presence at all the moments of our boys’ last days. I’m grateful for her dark humor and reality checks and the “lets makes sure we still look good” moments. Our boys would have it no other way. 

PCFLV has supported us and so many other families in this battle through bereaved parents support group,  moms’ and dads’ night out, day retreats, date nights, fun events, gift cards for dinners, coffee…and more. Helping us foster friendships and a safe place to land. The staff is always willing to join us in these spaces with love, compassion, and care. Please donate to PCFLV in Sal’s honor and in mine. 

Written by Salliann, Sal’s mom

Please consider helping children with cancer and others in our community by scheduling a blood donation at Miller-Keystone Blood Center: https://donor.giveapint.org/donor/schedules/zip