One of the most powerful steps in the journey from grief to healing is discovering comfort in shared experiences. That was the day I met Salliann Schippers. My son, Tommy Stackhouse, was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia on June 19, 2019, and passed away from complications of AML on May 26, 2022…5 weeks after the passing of Salliann’s son, Sal. Sal and Tommy were two years apart in school; acquaintances with mutual friends. I had the pleasure of meeting her days after Tommy’s diagnosis because her son was admitted for a random seizure at the same time. The Slater Nation took over 5J at LVHN! Sal was able to leave his room, so everyone came to Tommy’s room to show support. This wasn’t the first rodeo for the Schippers family. 

As time went on, Salli and I kept in touch, and we felt like our sons were two ping pong balls bouncing off one another. Sal relapsed, then Tommy relapsed. Sal was in the PICU at CHOP; then Tommy was. Sal went to transplant, and then Tommy went again for his second transplant. Then…a crushing blow…Sal passed away. The worst pain my heart endured was telling Tommy and my husband. The only page in Tommy’s journal reads, “my friend Sal passed away today.” Tommy, as always, was stoic and attended Sal’s funeral not knowing that five weeks later it would be his turn to be laid to rest.

After the dust settled, we were there for each other with our odd sense of something; I wouldn’t call it humor, but it’s not something other moms would understand. We now vacation together every year on our girl’s trip to the Hamptons to forget about the life we are now left to deal with. We text each other bottles of wine with recommendations and go on local “field trips” to try and ease the pain of everyday life. Our sons brought us together and together we will try and help other bereaved parents and new pediatric cancer patients navigate their way through the rough sea they are about to encounter.

Thank you to PCFLV for always sending support our way, whether it be a Starbucks gift card to have coffee together when we were staying at CHOP,  hosting a moms’ day out where we can spend time together chatting with the other moms, or sending us a generous donation towards our sons’ funeral expenses.

Written by Shelly, Tommy’s mom

Please consider helping children with cancer and others in our community by scheduling a blood donation at Miller-Keystone Blood Center: https://donor.giveapint.org/donor/schedules/zip